Losing Friends, and Learning to Make New Ones

I was chatting with the Dad this week. He mentioned, almost casually, that he doesn’t “go downstairs” after dinner anymore.

For context – about 85 % of Singaporeans live in high-rise public flats. Most have a void deck on the ground floor, where residents rest, chat, or play a little chess. For years, “going downstairs” had been my Dad’s daily ritual – the unofficial evening news hour where stories, jokes and market tips were exchanged.

Apparently, most of his friends have stopped going. Some have moved away. Many, sadly, are no longer around. He said it with the quiet acceptance of someone who has seen too many empty benches. His old schoolmates – almost all gone now – can be counted on one hand.

I asked if he’s made new friends. He smiled and said he tries – chatting up hawkers and stallholders during his near-daily trips to the market, even when he doesn’t need to buy anything. Having been a cab driver for decades, I suppose conversation is second nature to him.

It made me think about how – and when – we stop making friends. There’s a season in life when new friendships come almost automatically: school, work, parenthood. When the kids were younger, the Wife and I made friends through their activities. (Though, in her book, “colleagues don’t count as friends” – she’s very black-and-white like that. And yes, I still think she’s wrong. Shhh…)

But somewhere between mid-career and middle age, the friendship funnel seems to narrow. Workmates drift, kids grow up, social circles shrink – and before you know it, you’ve stopped making new friends without even realising it. It’s not that it’s harder to meet people. It’s just that the new ones we meet – through work, social clubs, community events – often stay as acquaintances. Maybe we don’t spend enough time together. Maybe energy runs thin. Maybe vulnerability is harder when you’ve built thicker walls.

Yet social connection remains one of the strongest predictors of longevity. Studies show that friendships are among the top indicators of a longer, healthier life. That’s reason enough to treat “friendship maintenance” as part of the retirement plan. Like your health and finances, friendships need replenishing too.

So maybe we should all take a leaf from Dad – keep chatting, keep showing up, keep making friends. Even with people who may be younger, or from entirely different worlds. Friendship, after all, isn’t about age – it’s about energy.

Your turn: 
When did you last make a new friend – truly a friend, not just an acquaintance?
Was it through work, a hobby, a club? Or has it been a while?

👉 Hit reply and share your thoughts – I’d love to hear what’s resonating with you.

☕ If today’s musing nudged you to text an old friend (or say hello to a new one), you can shout me a coffee on Ko-fi.

Bricks and Mortar – Investing in Real Estate

Alright, L-Plate Retirees! We've journeyed through the paper assets – stocks, bonds, and even made our cash smarter. Today, we're getting down to earth with Traditional Real Estate Investment Approaches. For many, owning property is the ultimate dream, and it can be a fantastic way to grow your wealth, offering a tangible asset class that diversifies your portfolio, a key concept from our Foundations of Investing.

First up is Direct Property Ownership. This is what most people think of: buying a house, an apartment, or even a commercial building. If it's your primary residence, it serves a dual purpose – a home and an investment. If you buy a rental property, you get income from tenants (and maybe a few headaches!). Commercial properties like offices or shops are another option, but they usually require a bigger wallet and more know-how. This approach requires a significant upfront capital commitment, which ties back to your Personal Financial Assessment and your capacity for such large investments. The management responsibilities and potential for illiquidity also directly relate to your risk tolerance – are you comfortable with the hands-on nature and potential for market fluctuations? Remember, property laws, financing, and taxes vary wildly by country.

But what if you don't want the hassle of being a landlord or the huge upfront cost? That's where Real Estate Investment Trusts (REITs) come in! Think of a REIT as a mutual fund for real estate. You buy shares in a company that owns and operates income-producing properties – like shopping malls or apartment complexes. They trade on stock exchanges like regular stocks, and they're required to pay out most of their income to shareholders as dividends. It's a way to get exposure to real estate without having to fix a leaky faucet at 3 AM! REITs offer a more liquid way to invest in real estate, which can be a good fit for those with a lower risk tolerance for direct property management or a different financial capacity.

If REITs are still a bit too direct, you can also invest in Real Estate Mutual Funds and ETFs. These are pooled investments that might hold a basket of REITs, or even shares in companies that develop real estate. They offer diversification and professional management, often with lower minimum investments than buying a property yourself, making them accessible even if your Personal Financial Assessment suggests a more modest entry point.

So, whether you're dreaming of being a property magnate or just want a piece of the real estate pie without the DIY, there are plenty of ways to get involved. Just remember, location, location, location still matters, even if you're not physically there! Understanding the risk-return profile of each real estate investment type is crucial for making informed decisions.

L-Plate Takeaways:

• Direct Property Ownership: Buying physical property (residential or commercial). Can provide income and appreciation, but comes with management responsibilities and significant upfront costs, impacting your Personal Financial Assessment.

• REITs (Real Estate Investment Trusts): Like stocks for real estate. You own shares in companies that own properties, getting dividends without the landlord duties. Great for liquidity and can align with different risk tolerances.

• Real Estate Funds/ETFs: Diversified exposure to real estate through a basket of REITs or property-related companies. Lower entry barrier and professional management, making diversification easier.

• Consider the Hassle Factor: Direct ownership means dealing with tenants and maintenance; REITs and funds offer a hands-off approach. Choose based on your comfort level and available time.

• Global Differences: Property laws, taxes, and financing vary significantly by region. Always do your homework, a core principle from Foundations of Investing!