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- The Stair Test That Reveals Your True Fitness Level (Most People Fail)
The Stair Test That Reveals Your True Fitness Level (Most People Fail)
Why How You Climb Stairs Says More About Your Health Than Any Gym Test

because retirement doesn’t come with a manual
Your trusty L-Plater is back, navigating the twists and turns of retirement (and pre-retirement!) so you don't have to go it alone. Fasten your seatbelts, it's time for another dose of wisdom, wit, and ways to make this chapter your best one yet!

The quick scan: Wednesday delivered a welcome bounce that had investors feeling like they'd finally found their footing after a few days of tariff-induced wobbles. Markets climbed steadily as tech stocks led the charge, with the NASDAQ hitting another record high and proving that sometimes the best response to uncertainty is just keeping calm and carrying on.
• S&P 500: Rose 0.6% to close at 6,263.26, bouncing back from Tuesday's pullback like a rubber ball that remembered how to be resilient
• Dow Jones: Gained 217 points (0.5%) to 44,458.30, blue chips showing they're not ready to let trade tensions derail their steady progress
• NASDAQ: Jumped 0.9% to a fresh record high of 20,611.34, tech stocks apparently deciding that Wednesday was the perfect day to remind everyone why they're called "growth" stocks
What's driving it: A combination of strong tech sector performance (led by Nvidia becoming the first company to hit $4 trillion in market cap) and investors' growing ability to shrug off tariff headlines. Sometimes the market's best skill is learning to ignore the noise and focus on fundamentals.
Bottom line: Wednesday's solid gains suggest that markets are developing some immunity to trade policy uncertainty. When investors can push stocks to new records despite ongoing tariff threats, it usually means the underlying economic momentum is stronger than the political headlines.

The Stair Test That Reveals Everything About Your Body (And Why You're Probably Failing It)

999 steps to Heaven at Tianmen Mountain, Zhangjiajie, China. who’s game?
The scoop: Here's a fitness reality check that might sting a little: how you climb stairs reveals more about your physical condition than most gym tests. We're not talking about whether you take the elevator or not (though that matters too)—we're talking about your actual technique. Do you lean forward like you're climbing Mount Everest? Crab-shuffle on the way down? Can you still take two steps at a time without feeling like you need a recovery day? These aren't just quirks of your gait; they're diagnostic clues about your mobility, balance, and long-term strength.
The inspiration comes from Sir Ian McKellen, who at 86 still walks up escalators and navigates his multi-story London home with ease. His secret? Treating stairs as daily exercise rather than an inconvenience. A 2023 study even found that brief bursts of "vigorous intermittent lifestyle physical activity"—like taking stairs—could serve as a promising intervention for cancer prevention. Basically, your daily stair climbs might be more powerful than you think.
But here's the kicker: most of us are doing it wrong. As we age, our bones shrink and muscles lose their oomph, which impacts coordination. It's entirely possible (even likely) that you walk up stairs differently now than you did at 25, and not in a good way.
The proper stair technique (yes, there is one):
• Stand tall like a march: Proper stair-walking should be reminiscent of a military march. It's common for adults to hunch forward, relying on quads and knees to move from step to step, but you want to engage your glutes and hamstrings while maintaining an upright posture.
• Imagine invisible trip wires: At the lip of each stair, visualize an invisible trip wire that you need to clear with your foot. This mental cue helps ensure proper foot placement and prevents that dangerous heel-hanging-off-the-edge situation.
• Stay controlled and strong: Rely on your own power, not momentum. This is especially important when descending—your footfalls should be purposeful and as quiet as possible, like a ninja who's also concerned about joint health.
• Track knees over toes: Always make sure your knees track straight over your toes rather than collapsing inward. When your knees are aligned, your hips and shoulders naturally follow suit.
Red flags that signal trouble:
• Yanking yourself up via handrail: This signals instability or compensation for weakness. The handrail should be for safety, not propulsion—you're not supposed to be doing a rope climb.
• Turning or twisting mid-climb: Classic signs of fatigue or compensation patterns. If you're doing a diagonal shuffle up the stairs, it's your body's way of saying "we need to have a talk about fitness."
• Foot barely clearing steps: Landing with your heel hanging off the edge isn't just risky—it's a sign that your hip flexors and ankle mobility need attention.
• Excessive forward lean: If you look like you're climbing into a headwind, you're probably overcompensating for weak glutes and poor core stability.
The stair fitness tests you should try:
• Skip a step test: When's the last time you tried to skip steps? This tests balance, strength, and coordination. If you can't comfortably take stairs two at a time, it's time to address some strength deficits.
• The 60-step cardio test: Based on European Society of Cardiology research, you should be able to climb 60 steps (four flights) in 90 seconds or less. Anything over that suggests you need to examine your cardiovascular health. If you can manage it in 40-45 seconds, you're in excellent shape.
• The grocery march: Grab two heavy bags and climb two full flights without using the handrail, leaning forward, or stopping to readjust. Think of it as the functional fitness test that actually matters—because hauling groceries up to your apartment with perfect form is a real-world superpower.
Actionable takeaways:
• Seek out stairs more often: Start treating stairs as opportunities for micro-workouts rather than inconveniences. Your future self will thank you when you're still climbing with confidence at 80.
• Perform regular self-audits: Pay attention to your technique and catch yourself when you start to shuffle, lean, or compensate. Awareness is the first step to improvement.
• Practice the proper form: Focus on standing tall, engaging your glutes, and making controlled movements. It might feel awkward at first, but proper technique becomes second nature with practice.
• Address weaknesses early: If you notice red flags in your stair technique, consider working with a physical therapist or trainer to address underlying mobility or strength issues before they become bigger problems.
• Make it progressive: Start with single steps and proper form, then work up to skipping steps and carrying loads. Like any fitness program, progression is key to avoiding injury and building confidence.
Your Turn: When's the last time you actually paid attention to how you climb stairs? Are you a confident two-stepper, or more of a cautious one-step-at-a-time type? Have you noticed your stair technique changing as you've gotten older, or are you still climbing like you did in your twenties? Drop a comment below and confess your stair habits—I'm curious whether this article will make anyone actually think about their technique next time they encounter a flight of stairs!
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The L-Plate Retiree Team
(Disclaimer: While we love a good laugh, the information in this newsletter is for general informational and entertainment purposes only, and does not constitute financial, health, or any other professional advice. Always consult with a qualified professional before making any decisions about your retirement, finances, or health.)
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