When Everything Breaks at Once: What a Dead Car Battery Taught Me About Retirement Planning

You know that saying about bad luck coming in threes? Well, I stopped at two, which I'm counting as a win.

Thursday night, my daughter called requesting the Good Father Uber Service. I grabbed the keys, walked to the car, turned the ignition and – click. Click. Nothing. She took a real Uber instead.

Friday morning, working from home, I went to make coffee. The milk that emerged from the fridge wasn't quite milk anymore – more like the experimental stages of accidental cheesemaking. We'd known something was off earlier in the week. The fridge wasn't quite cold enough. We'd done what any reasonable person does: hoped it would fix itself.

Hope, it turns out, doesn't cool refrigerators.

Welcome to my very first-world crisis.

Here's where my weekend took an interesting turn. I initially thought the car issue was the spark plugs. I'd been meaning to learn how to replace them anyway, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity. So I did what any modern human does: I consulted AI.

I described the symptoms. Asked follow-up questions. Got detailed responses about spark plug replacement procedures. Started feeling reasonably confident I could handle this myself. Then I described the symptoms more carefully. The AI gently suggested that based on the clicking sound and complete failure to turn over, this was probably just the battery, not the spark plugs.

Oh.

After work Friday, I stood in front of the car with the hood up, staring at the engine like that would help. That's when my neighbour walked by.

A quick chat and two minutes later, he was back with a portable jump starter. Five minutes after that, the car started. Dead battery confirmed. No spark plug replacement required. No YouTube tutorial needed. Just a neighbour with the right tool and the willingness to share it.

Saturday morning, I got the battery changed – straightforward transaction requiring zero of my newfound knowledge about ignition systems. Before heading home, I stopped at our Asian grocer and picked up two free styrofoam boxes for the fridge situation. Not fancy. Not high-tech. Just practical containers for our soon-to-be-homeless frozen goods.

The fridge required slightly more work. I let it thaw while attending the Invest360 webinar (multitasking at its finest), then opened up the freezer and fridge compartments to check the condenser coils and fan. Everything appeared functional. Turned it back on. Waited. The temperature started dropping.

As of this writing, the fridge seems to be working again. Whether I fixed it or it fixed itself remains unclear. We'll know tomorrow if I'm a domestic hero or just postponed the inevitable service call. Or an appliance shopping trip.

Somewhere between researching spark plug replacement and accepting my neighbour's jump starter, something clicked – ironically, more successfully than my car's ignition.

We spend enormous time preparing for retirement. We research investment strategies, compare tax-advantaged accounts, read articles about withdrawal rates and asset allocation. We accumulate knowledge. We feel prepared.

Then retirement happens, and it turns out the battery's dead and the milk's turned to cheese.

The problems that derail retirement plans aren't usually the ones you've researched. They're not the market crash you've modeled or the healthcare inflation you've factored in. They're the HVAC system dying in your first retirement summer. The parent who needs care sooner than expected. The consulting work that evaporates when your former employer restructures.

They're the styrofoam-box problems – unglamorous, immediate, requiring practical solutions rather than sophisticated analysis.

Resilience in retirement doesn't come primarily from having the perfect financial plan. It comes from having the right resources when things inevitably break.

My neighbour's jump starter mattered more than my AI education. The free styrofoam boxes solved the immediate problem better than any research into refrigerator thermodynamics. The actual solutions weren't elegant or complex – they were available, practical, and good enough.

Financial advisors talk about emergency funds, which is absolutely correct. But the real emergency fund isn't just money – it's the network of resources, relationships, and practical capabilities you can draw on when plans meet reality's sense of humour.

It's the neighbour who has a jump starter. The friend who knows a reliable, affordable repair person. The community of people who've faced similar challenges and can tell you what actually worked versus what sounded good in theory.

It's the flexibility to accept that sometimes the solution is waiting and hoping (even when hope failed the fridge, it might work next time). And the humility to know when it's time to call an expert anyway.

It's maintaining enough slack in your system – financial, emotional, practical – that when two things break simultaneously, you don't also break.

My weekend crisis was extremely first-world. But it reminded me that retirement planning shouldn't only prepare you for big, predictable challenges. It should build resilience for the Saturday morning when nothing works and you need solutions that are available, not optimal.

The fridge might be working. Or I might be appliance shopping next week. The car battery is definitely fine – for now. And I've learned that sometimes the best preparation isn't knowing everything, but knowing who to ask when your own resources aren't sufficient.

Tomorrow I'll check if the fridge truly cooperated or just temporarily decided to behave. Either way, I'm keeping those styrofoam boxes.

You never know when you'll need an unglamorous, practical solution to an immediate problem. And that might be the most important retirement lesson of all.

Your Turn:
When was the last time an elaborate plan got trumped by a simple, available solution you hadn't considered?
Who's in your "jump-starter" network – the people you can call when things break and you need practical help, not just advice?
What part of your retirement plan assumes everything will work as intended, and what would you do if it doesn't?

👉 Hit reply and share your thoughts – I’d love to hear what’s resonating with you.

☕ If today’s weekend musings resonate with your own experience of plans meeting reality, you can shout us a coffee on Ko-fi. It keeps us exploring the messy realities of retirement planning – the parts between the spreadsheets and the strategy sessions.

The Global Road Trip & Your Evolving Portfolio

Last time, we established that Strategic Asset Allocation (SAA) is our blueprint. Now, let's talk about two critical factors that shape that blueprint: the Global Market and your Life Stage.

First, the world is your oyster, and your portfolio should reflect that. Global Asset Allocation means looking beyond your home country. Why? Because different economies perform differently at different times. Investing only in your home country is called Home Country Bias, and it's a major pitfall. It leaves you under-diversified and overly exposed to the risks of a single economy. A truly diversified portfolio should have a healthy mix of developed and emerging market assets.

When you go global, you must consider Currency Factors. If you invest in a foreign stock, and that country's currency weakens against your home currency, your return will be lower, even if the stock itself performs well. This is a risk you need to be aware of. For L-Plate Retirees, a simple, globally diversified fund (like a global equity ETF) is often the easiest way to manage this complexity.

Second, your asset allocation is not a tattoo; it should change as you age. This is the Evolution of Asset Allocation Across Life Stages.

• Accumulation Phase (Younger You): You had a long time horizon and a high-risk tolerance. Your portfolio was aggressive, maybe 80-100% in growth assets like stocks. You could afford the bumps.
  

• Pre-Retirement Phase (Mid-Career You): The finish line is in sight. The focus shifts to preserving the capital you've built. Your allocation should gradually "glide" towards more conservative assets like bonds and cash (e.g., 60% stocks, 40% bonds).
  

• Retirement/Distribution Phase (L-Plate You): Your focus is now on income generation and capital preservation. Your allocation should be the most conservative, with a higher proportion in fixed income and cash to fund your living expenses (e.g., 40% stocks, 60% bonds/cash). This is the time to prioritize stability over aggressive growth, a direct application of your reduced risk tolerance.

Your portfolio should be a reflection of where you are in life. Don't let a portfolio designed for a 30-year-old drag down your retirement!

L-Plate Takeaways:

• Go Global: Avoid Home Country Bias and diversify across different regions to manage risk.

• Watch the Currency: Be aware that currency fluctuations can impact your foreign investment returns.

• Portfolio Evolves: Your asset allocation should become more conservative as you move from the accumulation phase to the retirement phase.

• Prioritize Stability Now: As an L-Plate Retiree, your focus should be on capital preservation and income generation, which means a higher allocation to bonds and cash.

• Use Simple Tools: Low-cost, globally diversified ETFs are the easiest way to implement a global SAA.